People see what you do. They don’t see what you think. Your visible behaviour is how people interpret the values that you hold. Impressions and interpretations are formed without your even opening your mouth. As we know from neuro-linguistic programming, your non-verbals account for a massive 55% of your communication.
A negative mindset is displayed as negative and critical behaviour. I’m sure you can think of people who are always cynical and seeing the “down side” of everything. These people need your help and support to help them reframe their mindset and see the positive side of the situation.
How you see yourself determines how you relate to other people. If you are feeling negative inside it shows on the outside even though you may try to hide it. Others notice, and this can determine how they relate to you.
How would you like people to see you – as
- Positive and approachable
- Friendly and supportive
- Interesting and interested (in them)?
If you would like to be all these things, then developing the coaching skills of active and reflective listening, asking powerful questions and summarising creates the platform for a trusting and long-term relationship.
So what is it that coaches do that sets them apart from the rest? Coaches ask lots of questions to find out what’s happening for you in your world. They don’t assume. They ask for the details to get your “picture” right. In a nutshell, coaches:
- Ask rather than tell;
- Help you explore and discover your own truths;
- Look for the possibilities and different ways for you to resolve your issues or meet your identified goals.
When you behave in ways consistent with your values and beliefs, you become your authentic self – the person you really are – and who you were meant to be.